According to psychiatrist Dr. Mark Goulston, “The best way to deal with a narcissist is to avoid them,” which is why he created the Narcissist Inventory quiz. 📋

You have to first know who it is that you’re dealing with, so you can make the best choices and changes for your life. #knowledgeispower 💪

To use the Narcissist Inventory, rate the person on a 1-to-3 scale for each of the following questions (1 = rarely; 2 = sometimes; 3 = frequently):

1. How often does the person need to be right at all costs?

2. How often does the person act impatient with you for no good reason?

3. How often does the person interrupt you in the middle of what you’re saying, and yet take offense if you interrupt?

4. How often does the person expect you to drop whatever you’re thinking about and listen to him or her—and does the person take offense when you expect the same in return?

5. How often does the person talk more than he or she listens?

6. How often does the person say, “Yes, but,” “That’s not true,” “No,” “However,” or “Your problem is”?

7. How often does the person resist and resent doing something that matters to you, just because it’s inconvenient?

8. How often does the person expect you to cheerfully do something that’s inconvenient for you?

9. How often does the person expect you to accept behavior that he or she would refuse to accept from you?

10. How often does the person fail to say, “Thank you,” “I’m sorry,” “Congratulations,” or “Excuse me” when it’s called for?

To score your inventory, add up the total:
10-16 = The person is cooperative.
17-23 = The person is argumentative.
24-30 = The person is a narcissist.

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When you absolutely have to deal with a narcissist, Dr. Goulston has an effective 5-step strategy to use during their narcissistic rants or attacks:

1. Identify who he or she is by using the above inventory.

2. Never expect him or her to not act in a condescending and controlling manner (so you won’t be caught off guard or blindsided when they do).

3. When they act in that manner, look them straight in the eye, unfazed, and let them finish whatever they’re saying.

4. When they finish, pause for 2-4 seconds (which will cause them to realize their usual MO didn’t work on you).

5. Then say, calmly, firmly, and looking into their eyes, “Please repeat everything you said in the last few minutes, especially about what you want me to do, in a normal tone of voice. I have an uncontrollable habit of tuning people out when they are yelling, talking at, or talking down to me, and if what you said was important for me to hear, I’m afraid you’re going to have to tell it to me again.”