Detached Childhood Poem

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She never understood as she watched the world go by

Things were said that drifted past her eye

Peoples faces looked strange and bewildered her soul

She lived a strange world, yet nobody would know

 

Witnessing events unfolded by an immature brain

Yet something inside her feared she was insane

Anxiety magnified at the drop of a hat

Working through pain the this and the that

 

Isolated and curious she did it alone

She would sit there like no one was home.

Lost in the world of words and sound

Yet she was able to keep her feet on the ground

 

Walking through old train stations to create a new game

Cutting through mesh and structures to reveals worlds never the same

Evoking her warrior to cut through the trees

Giving her courage in a world that no one ever sees

 

Time with people made her feel more alone

They seemed weird and disconnected like an old phone

There were attempts at kindness, but she knew through the stares

That their attempts were futile as she shielded from cares

 

Yet kindness was witnessed and cherished inside

The smallest of smiles and gifts were what kept her alive

If the world got to heavy, she could shout and scream at the sky

Then dust herself down and let out a cry

 

As she grew into her form her teachers saw her dimmed light

Like a girl in the shadows walking at night

Their kindness and love told her she was more than she knew

But their desire for her to make it

Was something that slowly grew

 

For she just wanted to float in and out and not attach to the world

When she did it felt cold and cruel and left her in a whirl

Her survival depended on keeping light low

Otherwise she had to tackle the rage that did grow

 

The darkness was fierce when percid by another’s harm

And eventually she stood up and sliced through the yarrn

She tore through them in terror making her mark

But shifted again back into the dark

 

Slowly the world seems less chilling and cold

The warmer moments would help her now grow

The harness of life continued to pain her so

She witnessed the chaos and hunger when others did not know

 

It hurt her gentle heart so much she hid her grief deep down

On the surface others like this would act like a clown

She silently made her way through the night

And once she grew further, she started to feel what was right

 

Her desire for adventure and new spaces emerged

Aspects of life still seemed absorbed

But she saw those new spaces and was compelled to walk by

She saw how dark clouds shifted and revealed a new sky

 

New smells and people and a chance to feel free

She still hid the pain and darkness but with new eyes could see

She took life as it was and made it her own

Revising the spaces, she been in and moved when she grown

 

Money and lifestyle were never a thing

Moments of depth with human nature is what made her heart sing

Things unseen that seemed scary and dark

Were no places of magic and cut through the heart

 

Skills of chameleons fascinated her so

Freedom of non-attachment meant she could go

But society’s rules about how things should be

Still confused her heart and made her feel less free

 

But then information in history revealed the real truths

How we are given a station and never to move

The writing of others that paved the way

Lit up the truth of many and now she had something to say

 

How dare others tell me who I should be

How dare they place me in a world I don’t want to see

How dare they think that the fit would be good

That id performs to keep them safe

While disintegrating under the hood

 

How dare all those around me propose it as truth

How dare the uneducated hold up the frame

Keep them happy and me in the slow lane

 

When wings are cut, and freedom withheld

Minds locked in nonsense never given the time

Time to explore and see how it can be

Open the heart to find what they can see

 

The story is as old as time

And continues to unfold

How were kept in the dark

And the truth never told

 

But how many heart builds walls of despair

Think they’re insane cos they see the world in need of repair

Take on the role of fixe whilst meeting their fate

Another life ruined and another big gate

 

How can the cost of a life continue to be ignored?

That people just move through life and never explore

Exploring their inner worlds and seeing their fate

Not realising it was always an open gate

 

But were locked in our minds with crap that isn’t true

I know coz I was that girl who looked like you

I was the one that confused you so

I was the one that held the truth and a glow

 

I was the one you wanted quiet and opaque

A world with conscious is now never vague

Coz if we decide to shine a light into our souls

We fear our own madness and a story untold

 

The cupboard is dark, and the web of lies is thick

You might need a hammer to get to the brick

The original foundation glistens with gold

But if flaky and full of terror is what we are told

 

Yes, if we open the doorway the window or gate

Whatever has held you doesn’t have to be a seal on your fate

Once you are brave and strike with force

you clear what never belonged to you and enter a door

 

imagine the wonder like a child set free

to discover the light and truth and know what it feels like to be me

the freedom to roam world out then and within

to ponder and muse and not get caught up in sin

 

to discover a freshness aliveness and glow

all cells in your body are online and ready to go

dis-ease leaves you and you wake feelings anew

marvel at life, joy no longer taboo

 

breath in the new light

and the air that is pure

open the heart

and another door

 

meet people with love that are now on your path

all team together and expose that loud laugh

feel joy in their presence as you witness their own life unfold

and encouraging their stories to also get told

 

I walked through a doorway and released all the harm

I forgave those who didn’t see me and turned off the alarm

I cleared out the closet with courage does not fear

I embraced the darkness as well as the light

I embraced confusion fear and overwhelm

Made them my friends and and stand at the helm

Navigate life and weather the storm

I’m a consciousness embracing my form

 

To the girl and boy who got so overshadowed and weighed down by life and how to never lose hope heart and belief in something that is at your fingertips