This reflection continues my exploration of psychology, spirituality as lived experience, and how power, personality, and unconscious dynamics shape meaning-making spaces. I’m not offering diagnoses or moral judgements here — only patterns I’ve observed over time, through training, research, work, and lived experience.
One of the reasons discernment matters so much in spiritual, therapeutic, and wellbeing spaces is that these environments often invite openness.
Openness is not a flaw.
Sensitivity is not a weakness.
Empathy is not naïveté.
But openness without discernment can leave people vulnerable — not because they lack intelligence, but because they trust deeply, feel intensely, and often assume others are operating with similar intent.
This is where psychology, particularly depth psychology, becomes essential.
Charm, Power, and the Mask
Not all harm announces itself loudly.
Some of the most destabilising figures don’t arrive as aggressors — they arrive as partners, bosses, helpers, visionaries, teachers, or allies. They are often articulate, intuitive, warm, and compelling. They know how to mirror values, language, and longing.
This is not accidental.
Long before modern psychology, Niccolò Machiavelli observed how power is often exercised not through force, but through influence, perception, and emotional leverage. Charm, when paired with ambition or insecurity, can become a tool.
In modern wellbeing and spiritual spaces, this doesn’t always look like manipulation in the obvious sense. It often looks like:
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accelerated intimacy
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excessive flattery or “specialness”
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blurred boundaries framed as connection
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certainty delivered with confidence
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subtle positioning as the one who “really sees you”
At first, it feels affirming. Later, it often feels confusing.
Jung, Shadow, and the Trickster
Depth psychology gives us a language for what’s happening beneath the surface.
Carl Jung wrote extensively about the shadow — the parts of ourselves we don’t recognise, integrate, or consciously own. When shadow remains unconscious, it doesn’t disappear. It gets enacted.
One of the most relevant archetypes here is the Trickster.
The Trickster isn’t evil.
It’s disruptive, seductive, clever, destabilising.
It bends truth, plays with illusion, and thrives in liminal spaces.
In spiritual or therapeutic contexts, Trickster energy can show up as:
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charisma without accountability
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insight without humility
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depth without containment
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intensity without integration
The danger isn’t the archetype itself — it’s mistaking charm for wisdom, or intensity for truth.
Empaths, Narcissism, and the Pull of Recognition
A pattern I’ve seen repeatedly — in clients, organisations, and communities — is the empath–narcissist dynamic.
Not as pop-psychology labels, but as relational patterns.
Highly empathic, perceptive people often:
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feel deeply and read subtle cues
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value connection and meaning
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question themselves before others
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assume good intent
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downplay their own authority
This makes them particularly sensitive to figures who appear confident, decisive, and affirming.
When someone offers certainty, recognition, or belonging — especially during periods of vulnerability — it can feel like relief. But relief is not always safety.
As Jung noted, what we don’t consciously integrate, we tend to project. Sometimes that projection lands on people who seem to embody what we’re longing for: clarity, authority, confidence, purpose.
This is how people get pulled off their path — not through coercion, but through resonance.
When Inner Compasses Get Overridden
The most subtle danger isn’t manipulation.
It’s displacement of inner authority.
This happens when:
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intuition is overridden by someone else’s certainty
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doubt is reframed as resistance or fear
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boundaries are questioned in the name of growth
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discomfort is spiritualised or undermined rather than explored
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discernment is mistaken for negativity or a bother to someone else
In these moments, people don’t lose their intelligence — they lose trust in themselves.
And that loss often happens gradually.
Discernment Is Not Suspicion
Discernment doesn’t mean assuming bad intent.
It means staying curious:
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Asks what am i hearing?
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How does my body feel right now? closed? open? How does this person handle disagreement?
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What happens when someone says no?
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Is questioning welcomed or subtly discouraged?
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Does the space support grounding and autonomy?
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Or does it rely on hierarchy and dependency?
Healthy environments don’t need you to surrender your agency in order to belong.
Staying on Your Path
Not everything that feels expansive is aligned.
Not everything that feels intense is transformative.
And not everything that feels familiar is safe.
Your path isn’t something someone else can see more clearly than you.
And anyone who suggests otherwise — however gently — deserves scrutiny, not devotion.
Discernment isn’t about closing the heart.
It’s about protecting it — so that openness remains a choice, not a liability.
Power, Influence, and Psychological Patterning
Over this past few years I took a deep dive into Dark Psychology due to the nature of understanding toxic dynamics and relationships and where these patterns of dominance and control turn up . I explored the work of Robert Greene, Carl Jung, Sam Vatkin, Dr Ramani, and Chase Hughes and started to unravel what they help us see — and where discernment still matters
Modern discussions of manipulation, influence, and power dynamics often draw on the work of writers like Robert Greene and Chase Hughes. The impact of these relationships (parents, work mangers, partners or children) is covered by Dr Ramani and Sam Vatkin .
While their approaches differ, both Robert and Chase attempt to name something many people sense intuitively but struggle to articulate: that human behaviour is not always conscious, benign, or transparent — especially in environments where power, status, or belonging are at stake.
Robert Greene: Power as Pattern, Not Morality
Greene’s work — particularly The 48 Laws of Power — is often misunderstood as a manual for manipulation. In reality, its value lies less in instruction and more in exposure.
What Greene does well is:
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map recurring power patterns across history
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show how charm, restraint, timing, and perception shape influence
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highlight how naïveté — not malice — often leaves people vulnerable
Read psychologically rather than aspirationally, Greene’s work becomes a study of how power operates when it goes unexamined — not a recommendation to wield it.
For empathic or relationally oriented people, it is even more imperative to realise that the world and its people doesn’t operate in the way we think it does. This lens can be confronting. But it can also be protective. It helps explain why good intent alone is not always enough to keep us safe.
Chase Hughes: Behaviour Before Story
Chase Hughes approaches similar territory from a behavioural and profiling perspective, focusing less on narrative and more on observable patterns.
His work emphasises:
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how people reveal intent through behaviour rather than words
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how emotional leverage is often applied subtly, not forcefully
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how consistency, pacing, and boundary-testing signal relational dynamics
Used well, this kind of knowledge isn’t about suspicion — it’s about reality-testing. It reminds us not to override bodily cues or relational discomfort simply because someone sounds convincing or aligned with our values.
Where This Meets Psychology and Spiritual Discernment
What both Greene and Hughes indirectly reinforce is something depth psychology has said for decades:
Pay attention to patterns, not performances.
Charm is not character.
Intensity is not intimacy.
Confidence is not integrity.
This is especially relevant in spiritual, therapeutic, and wellbeing spaces — where language of care, growth, and transformation can unintentionally obscure power dynamics.
Holding This Knowledge Without Becoming Hardened
There’s a risk, of course, in learning about power and manipulation: becoming guarded, cynical, or hyper-vigilant. Especially after being closely involved with anyone who has these traits. Initially though its self protective .
That’s not the invitation here.
The invitation is integration.
When this knowledge is held alongside:
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Jung’s understanding of shadow and projection
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psychological insight into attachment and trauma
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embodied awareness and nervous system cues